Hey Youse Guys, We’re Number 1 !!

Posted: April 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

In the most surprising bit of news that we’ve heard since learning that Rick Santorum has a retarded daughter, a just released study by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation ranks Philadelphia as 67th out of 67 counties in Pennsylvania, or as we see it – the NUMBER 1 worst county, in it’s annual report of county health rankings by state.

The study looks at things like premature death, low birthweight, adult smoking, obesity, excessive drinking, sexually transmitted diseases, teen birth rate, access to healthy foods, violent crime rate. all things that we Philadelphians excel in.

Time to celebrate! Order a double cheese steak with mayo (have it delivered), grab your gat, a nasty skank from around the way, some cold Yuengling lagers, hop on that comfy sofa for the next 4-6 hours and enjoy the Philies/Sixer/Flyers/American Idol/John Stewart/Stephen Colbert shows and slowly fade in to your happy place knowing that we are numero uno.

PS. Union County, Pa, you finished as the 67th least unhealthiest. Your County looks like tons of fun. Do you even know what “Stop Snitchin'” means? Go fuck yourselves, losers.

  1. Elena says:


  2. Jeffrey Michael says:

    Andy left so Philly should do much better next year.

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